I never knew what it truly meant to be broken until April 6, 2012. That was the day my husband, best friend, father of my daughter, provider, protector, and my future was taken from me. Now, I'm left here alone, lost and broken. This blog is designed to assist other widows/widowers and the people that love us understand what it means to be broken and try to put our hearts/lives back together.
A little about my story. My husband Adam and I met and fell in love after many years of being acquaintances. My brother and Adam became friends in high school (I was in 8th grade). I always found him cute, but I was 4 yrs younger and Adam was Nate's friend. As I got older, I found him even more attractive but knew he was way out of my league. We spent time together over the years hanging out with my brother. But, I was the kid sister and he was the friend. In May 2000, we were partners in my brother's wedding. We made up a last minute skit about a fishing trip between my brother and his wife. Unbeknownst to us, many of the guests were commenting on our chemistry and what a great couple we would make. His mother looked at his father and said "They are going to get married.". My brother saw it as well, his reaction was a little different. The seed must have been planted in us that day as well.
I was moving to Virginia in August of 2000 to start my first year as a teacher. Adam was living 2hrs away in North Carolina working as a counselor for a wilderness therapy camp. He decided to come visit my brother, who had come to help me move. Adam ended up staying the weekend to help me get settled and continued to visit every time he had off for a year! In 2001, he moved to Virginia to live with me. We married in 2005. After struggling to conceive due to PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), we had our daughter Hayden in September 2009.
Adam was a man of nature. He enjoyed fly fishing, hiking, camping, kayaking, skiing, mountain biking, and rock climbing. He loved to be in the outdoors soaking in its beauty. In the year before Hayden was born, he became more focused on rock climbing. He took classes to learn more about the sport and safety in climbing. He read countless books and watched hundreds of videos. He only climbed with those who respected the danger and were educated safe climbers.
On Thursday, April 5, 2012 he went for a weekend trip to Long Mountain, VA/WVA to climb. He camped overnight with another climber. The next morning, one of his best friends and another guy joined them. Many other climbers planning to join them later in the day. However, those joyful plans became the worst nightmare for us all.
At 3:31pm April 6th, I got a phone call from a dispatcher in Texas. My husband's SPOT Tracker's 911 feature was activated and they were wanting to know if he was in danger or was this a mistake. I informed them he was on a trip. They then use the GPS coordinates from the SPOT to dispatch help. They asked me for information I didn't know in my haze. A few minutes later my cell rang. A man I never met informed me he was climbing with Adam and there had been "a very serious accident". I asked how many he said one, how many present he said three. Was Todd ok? He said yes. I asked the questions dispatch asked me. I told him I needed to call them back. I knew my husband was hurt without even needing to say the words. I called dispatch in Texas. Then my mind and heart began to race. I need to go to a hospital. What do I do with my sleeping 2 yr old? Who will take the dogs? I tried my friend who's husband ,Todd, was climbing with him that day, no answer. I called my daughter's sitter (this was the first day of my spring break) to see if she could take Hayden, but got voicemail. Called our dog sitter and she said she could watch the dogs that night. Left a message with another friend thinking I'd need her to take the dogs because I was going to be at the hospital more than a day. I called the cell phone of the guy with Adam, I couldn't remember his name. I asked him where I needed to go, how do I get to you? He kept telling me it had been a very serious accident. "I wouldn't advise that Ma'am. It's been a very serious accident." Something about his repeating those words as if it were a script, I knew. I just knew but had to ask, "Is he alive?" Then this poor man who was in the midst of a trauma had to tell the poor wife that her husband was dead. "I'm sorry Ma'am, he is deceased." With those words, my heart broke into a million pieces. In that moment, my life stopped and my adventures in hell began.
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